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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Shared recently on X:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Just landed via YouTube:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Just landed via Threads:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Just shared via YouTube:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Home » Funny Independence Quotes » Page 2

55 Funny independence quotes

More funny independence quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Commentary:
"Why blame peer pressure when I can self-sabotage like a pro? 💪😆"
1 week ago
Share →: I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Commentary:
Trying to compliment my life decisions is like giving myself a participation trophy for a dodgeball game I never showed up to 😂🏆
1 week ago
Share →: I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Commentary:
When you're introverted but still want to let people know you’re cool: "It's not you, it's me… and my love for sweatpants and Netflix! 😎🛋️📺"
1 week ago
Share →: Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Commentary:
Dogs have mastered the ancient art of freeloading, and here we are still paying off student loans! 🐕🍖📚😅
1 week ago
Share →: Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Commentary:
Guess they're just trying to make sure we never forget Will Smith's legendary alien punch 😂👽🥊 #WelcomeToEarth
1 week ago
Share →: Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Commentary:
"Mastering the art of solo teamwork! 😅✌️ #TrustIssues101"
1 week ago
Share →: The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, my longest relationship was with my WiFi and snacks! 😂🍕📺 #LivingTheDream"
1 week ago
Share →: The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Commentary:
"Zero likes? That's just me having a private conversation with my biggest fan! 🤣🗣️ #SelfieSupport"
1 week ago
Share →: The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Commentary:
"When you're single, you become a professional bed explorer—navigating from the 'Great Left Hills' to the 'Middle Valley' and ending at the 'Right Coast' every night! 😂🛏️🌍"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Commentary:
"Trying to keep my flame alive while dodging strong gusts of reality! 😂🕯️💨"

For even more funny independence quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny independence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Live now on Reddit:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Just shared via WeChat:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Live now on Facebook:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Just shared via Discord:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Making waves on Instagram:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Making waves on Discord:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

55 Funny independence quotes

More funny independence quotes 👇

For even more funny independence quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny independence quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Your pronouns should be get/help.

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

I used to have a great future in my past.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

My dream car is a taco truck.

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

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