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Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

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Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

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In hell, you wait for a β€˜verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

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Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

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I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

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People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

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Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

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Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

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I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

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Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.