Funny laid quotes

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  1 day ago

  Share →: Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like I need to reboot my biological software because I’m still buffering on step one! 🍽️🤔😅

• 

  2 days ago

  Share →: Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like his chest might need an eviction notice! 😂🏠🎙️

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

  Commentary:
  "Sending positive vibes and bed sheets for everyone's well-being! 😜🛌 #MentalHealthMatters"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

  Commentary:
  “When old job habits die hard… still giving my boss TMI, 5 months later. 💩📱😂”

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

  Commentary:
  "Well, time to invest in some non-stick cookware and start sizzling! 🔥🍳😏 #IslandEscapades"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

  Commentary:
  Well, those bruises must have quite the active social life if they're not from getting lucky in love!

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

  Commentary:
  "May your love life be booming and your job secure in 2022! 🥂 Here's to a year of passion without pink slips! 🕺💼 #Priorities"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

  Commentary:
  "Starting the day with a fierce twerk and some self-love, because why not? 💃🪞💤 Who needs coffee when you've got that kind of energy boost! 😂 #MorningMotivation"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: “You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least my sense of humor was my ultimate wingman back then! 🤪😂 #FunnyNotFoxy"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

  Commentary:
  "Jewelry stores: Where you can conveniently express both your good intentions and your…not-so-subtle intentions 😏💎 #CoveringAllBases"

  Fun Fact or Trivia:
  Did you know that diamonds are not only a girl's best friend but also a symbol of love and commitment? 💍✨ In ancient India, diamonds were believed to possess mystical powers and were used in battle to protect warriors! ⚔️💎 Whether for romance or friendship, these sparkling gems have always had a special place in hearts and history! ❤️💖

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