Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Spotted on WeChat:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Seen just now on Slack:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Trending via X:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Funny laid quotes

Funny laid quotes bring a burst of laughter 😄 and chill vibes 😎 to your day! Perfect for those moments when you just want to kick back 🛋️, relax, and enjoy some witty, lighthearted humor. Whether you’re unwinding after a long day or need a quick mood boost, these gems will keep you smiling 😊 and feeling effortlessly cool. Get ready to embrace the art of laid-back laughs! 🎉✨

New funny laid quotes 👇

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

0

2 months ago

advice, biologically, biology, connect, connection, daily, eat, else, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, food, fun, good, human, human connection, humans, humor, laid, life, life advice, literally, motivation, reminder, yourself
Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, chest, girl, girls, humor, i, laid, last, laugh, laughing, me, moment, relationship, time
I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

0

2 months ago

activity, dating, fun, fun activity, health, hope, i, laid, mental, mental health, own, relationships, soon
Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

0

2 months ago

5, ago, boss, diarrhea, embarrassment, humor, i, job, laid, layoff, miscommunication, months, prank, telling, texting, workplace
Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

0

2 months ago

activity, chance, dating, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, island, kitchen, kitchen sex, laid, only, relationship, romance, sex, summer, summer romance
I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

0

2 months ago

bruise, dating, funny observation, getting, getting laid, humor, laid, new, observation, relationship, self-deprecation
I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

0

2 months ago

amen, fun, hope, i, job, laid, laid off, relationship, wish, year
Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

0

2 months ago

back, dance, funny moment, humor, laid, laid-back, mirror, moment, morning, morning routine, routine, twerk, woke, woke up
“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, compliments, dating, high, high school, humor, i, laid, school, self-deprecation, thanks
Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

0

2 months ago

dating, gifts, humor, jewelry, just, laid, nice, relationships, romance, shopping, should, stores, trying

All funny laid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

99 shares on Facebook this month:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

21 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

I love it when God gives me money.

90 shares on Slack this month:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

He took my last fry, your honor.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Spotted on Discord:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Just shared via Twitch:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Making waves on TikTok:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

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