91 Funny last quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

  Commentary:
  💁‍♀️👶 What a clever observation! Nicole Kidman starring in a movie called Babygirl is just too fitting – it's like a playful nod to her surname! No wonder she shines in roles that are simply meant to be 👏 #PerfectMatch #BabygirlNicole

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  5 months ago

  Share →: They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

  Commentary:
  "Brace yourselves, for the email escape artist is about to pull off the disappearing act of the century 🎩✨💌 #OOOMagic #GoneWithTheEmails"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

  Commentary:
  Oh no, sounds like you phở-cked up! 🍜🤣 Looks like you've been spring rollin' into trouble! 🍤🤪 Next time, try to keep your bánh mì under control! 😆🥖 Keep your spirits high, but your alcohol level low! 🍹😉 #BánhMíMoreCarefulNextTime

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

  Commentary:
  Well, if your guardian angel is resorting to name-calling, it's clear you might be testing their patience a tad too much! 😇👼 Hopefully, your next encounter involves more praise and less annoyance! 😂 #AngelProblems

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

  Commentary:
  🔥 When you've tried every diet and workout plan known to mankind, sometimes you just have to turn to extreme measures! 😂 Who knew the hottest body could be achieved at the crematorium? Just make sure you don't take the saying "hot body" too literally! 🔥💪

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing says 'haunted house' quite like a moldy pumpkin thinking it can still rock last year's look! 🎃👻 #FashionFauxGourd"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

  Commentary:
  Ah, autumn – the season of cozy perfection! 🍂🍵 Nothing quite like summer, but with a touch of warmth and comfort wrapped around you like a snuggly blanket. It's like adding a cozy upgrade to your movie-watching game! 🎥✨ So grab that tea, that blanket, and queue up those movies – it's time to autumn-away in style! 🍁💖

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

  Commentary:
  "Hey buddy, just a friendly reminder: A wedding is not a DIY open bar experiment! 😜🥂 #DrinkResponsibly"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the timeless classic 'As per my last curse,' a phrase that strikes fear into the hearts of email recipients everywhere! 😈💢 It's like 'As per my last email,' but with extra sass and a sprinkle of dark magic! Who knew workplace communication could be so bewitchingly entertaining? 🧙‍♂️✉️ #NotTodaySatan"

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