220 Funny little quotes

• Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

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  2 months ago

  bottle, condiment, fast, faster, food, humor, ketchup, kitchen, little, nothing, only, want

• I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

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  2 months ago

  am, anger, angry, emotions, expression, humor, i, kill, little, mad, only, people, say

• Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

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  2 months ago

  3d, 3D printing, apology, aviation, delay, flight, flight delay, fuselage, humor, just, little, maintenance, printing, time, waiting

• Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

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  2 months ago

  advice, calm, communication, humor, husband, just, little, me, prayer, relationship, say, told

• When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

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  2 months ago

  always, aspirations, business, business goals, childhood, childhood aspirations, dreams, girl, goals, growing, growth, humor, i, irony, little, little girl, needs, outcomes, satisfaction, transformative, transformative outcomes, user, user needs

• The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

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  2 months ago

  comedy, difference, good, heavy, hippo, humor, joke, lighter, little, night, punchline, thank, wordplay, zippo

• When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

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  2 months ago

  bad, fun, handwriting, humor, just, later, little, mystery, notes, solve, writing, yourself

• After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

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  2 months ago

  activity, after, charge, chores, domestic, domestic life, dryer, fun, fun activity, humor, laundry, life, little, relaxation, should, tumble

• Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

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  2 months ago

  bang, courtroom, every, hammer, humor, job, judge, little, only, people, shut, shut up, silence, where, work

• When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

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  2 months ago

  drive, driving, everyone, faster, house, humor, little, music, politics, president, rap, techno

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