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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Just landed via TikTok:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Making waves on Discord:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Making waves on WeChat:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

518 Funny love quotes

More funny love quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Commentary:
Burp therapy: the only weight loss plan I can stick to! 😅🤷‍♂️🎈
3 weeks ago
Share →: My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the divine art of selective hearing! 🙉✨
3 weeks ago
Share →: I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Commentary:
Irony level: 💎💰 Apply generously… with a side of financial panic! 😂💸
3 weeks ago
Share →: Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic love saga: from "you take my breath away" to "why are you breathing?" 🤦‍♂️❤️
3 weeks ago
Share →: Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate long-term relationship goal: professional annoyance specialist 😂❤️
3 weeks ago
Share →: If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Commentary:
That moment you realize snacks are your true love language 🥨❤️🍫
3 weeks ago
Share →: Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Commentary:
That's one way to prove love doesn't hurt! 😂❤️🌀
3 weeks ago
Share →: Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Commentary:
Sibling love: when "I got your back" becomes "I got your back because I pushed you out of the way first!" 😂🤷‍♂️👫
3 weeks ago
Share →: “What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Commentary:
Grandma's got that undercover cash flow game mastered! 💵👵❤️
3 weeks ago
Share →: I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Commentary:
Sounds like a PhD in Love and a Master's in Oops 😂💘

For even more funny love quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny love quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Just landed via YouTube:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Trending via Telegram:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Spreading quickly via X:

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

518 Funny love quotes

More funny love quotes 👇

For even more funny love quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny love quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

My brain has too many tabs open.

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

January is the Monday of the year.

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Activity Log ✨

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