Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa's more forgetful than we thought! 🎅📋🥛 Maybe he got distracted by all those cookies and never made it to the dairy aisle. Naughty list for the milk, Santa! 🍪🥛📜
6 months ago
Share →: Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Commentary:
"Trying to make things idiot proof is like trying to build a better mousetrap… Except the mice are always reinventing themselves! 🤦‍♂️🤣 #SisyphusSyndrome"
6 months ago
Share →: What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the riveting saga of electric cars and diarrhea—one zips you along silently, the other accelerates your trip to the bathroom! 🚗💨💩 Just remember, when nature calls, you better hope your battery is fully charged! ⚡😬 #ChargeUpBeforeYouDropOff
6 months ago
Share →: I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Commentary:
"Trying to quit sexual innuendos? That's a hard task indeed! 😏 Stay strong, we believe in you… or do we? 😉 #InnuendoOverload"
6 months ago
Share →: To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Commentary:
"Dear mysterious voodoo doll handler, do us all a favor and let the poor doll take a day off! Maybe send her on a tropical vacation instead? 🏝️🌺 #WorkDrama #VoodooMagic"
6 months ago
Share →: Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Commentary:
"Sometimes your stomach just wants to rev up and join the motorcycle gang outside 🏍️🤣 #VroomVroom"
6 months ago
Share →: I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Commentary:
Oh, I can totally see the appeal of the Easter Bunny 🐰! Who needs a bearded old man spying on you as you sleep? 😂 Plus, giving candy is much more fun than getting coal! 🍬 #TeamEasterBunny
6 months ago
Share →: When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Commentary:
Oh, the audacity of assuming our feelings! 🙄 Saying "You're going to hate me for this" is like putting a cherry on top of a cake made of assumptions! 🍰😂 It's all fun and games until someone jumps to conclusions! 😉
6 months ago
Share →: The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Commentary:
Looks like the recipe called for peace and quiet in the kitchen, but what it got was a full-blown audience! 🙈👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's a balancing act between culinary focus and family chaos – may the cooking gods be in your favor! 🍳🤪 #CookingDrama
6 months ago
Share →: My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Commentary:
Well, looks like that marriage just got a contouring lesson it won't forget! 💄💁‍♀️ Next time, hubby better think twice before questioning the power of makeup magic! 🔮✨ #MakeupTutorialMaster