.

10,000+ funny quotes

100 Funny marriage quotes

Funny marriage quotes offer a humorous look at the ups and downs of married life! 💍😂 From witty remarks about the quirks of being married to playful observations on the challenges and joys of partnership, these quotes capture the lighter side of wedded bliss. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the fun in your marriage! 😄❤️

1 day ago
View →: Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.
3 days ago
View →: My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.
3 weeks ago
View →: I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.
3 weeks ago
View →: Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”
3 weeks ago
View →: Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.
4 weeks ago
View →: I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.
4 weeks ago
View →: Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.
1 month ago
View →: I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
1 month ago
View →: If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.
1 month ago
View →: Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.
1 month ago
View →: If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?
1 month ago
View →: I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.
1 month ago
View →: Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.
2 months ago
View →: The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.
2 months ago
View →: The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.
2 months ago
View →: One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.
2 months ago
View →: Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.
2 months ago
View →: My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.
3 months ago
View →: When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.
3 months ago
View →: I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
3 months ago
View →: The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.
3 months ago
View →: Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.
3 months ago
View →: If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.
3 months ago
View →: When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.
3 months ago
View →: Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.
3 months ago
View →: I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.
3 months ago
View →: Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.
3 months ago
View →: I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.
4 months ago
View →: You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.
4 months ago
View →: I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

For even more funny marriage quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny marriage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌