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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Seen just now on X:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Live now on LinkedIn:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Going viral on X:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Just landed via Discord:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Just landed via Twitch:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Trending via TikTok:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,814

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Trending via TikTok:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Just shared via Threads:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Seen just now on Instagram:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

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