149 Funny nothing quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

  Commentary:
  Oh no, therapy wasted on a shampoo promise! 🤦‍♂️ Maybe it's time for a "clarify shampoo" for those misleading products. 🧴💔 Remember, it's all about managing expectations—both for your hair and your mental health! 😆✂️

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle of stealthily dodging acquaintances in the produce aisle, perfecting the art of supermarket camouflage 🥦🕵️‍♂️ Who knew grocery shopping could turn into a modern-day game of hide and seek? #ProHideAndSeeker"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the elusive skill of exhausting oneself through pure inertia 🎨💤 Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation could be so demanding? Take a bow, my fellow nap enthusiasts, for we are the true virtuosos of a well-deserved break! 🛌😆"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, reading 20 books, huh? That’s cute. Try keeping up with my 50,000 tweets marathon! 📚🤳 Who needs novels when you have Twitter for instant literary gratification? 🐦😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the pain of a joke falling flat! It's like experiencing a comedy show with crickets as the only audience 🦗, or telling a hilarious pun and receiving a blank stare in return. Remember, humor is subjective – but nothing stings quite like a joke lost in translation! #MisunderstoodLaughs"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

  Commentary:
  "Remember, Jesus didn't sacrifice himself for perfect angels! 😇 So go ahead, sin a little – you wouldn't want his dramatic sacrifice to go to waste now, would you? 😏🙌"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

  Commentary:
  "Having a good heart is like being the MVP of the kindness game, but sometimes you end up scoring for the wrong team! 🏀😅 Keep shining bright, even if you occasionally trip over your own halo! 👼🤦‍♂️ #GoodHeartProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

  Commentary:
  "Being right is its own reward, but having the satisfaction of proving the doubters wrong is just the cherry on top! 🍒💪 #CrazyGenius"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

  Commentary:
  🚗💨 "Ah, holiday traffic – the gift that keeps on giving, whether you asked for it or not! Dodging it is like playing a never-ending game of 'Avoid-the-Caravan.' Well done on unintentionally embracing the holiday chaos with open arms! 🎄🤷‍♂️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the elusive quest for the perfect nap… A battle often fought, but not always won. 😴😩 Keep fighting the good fight, my fellow nap warriors! One day, victory shall be ours… or maybe just a really good nap. 💤😂"

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