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84 Funny online quotes

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

3 months ago

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

3 months ago

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

3 months ago

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

3 months ago

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

3 months ago

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

3 months ago

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

3 months ago

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

3 months ago

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

3 months ago

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

3 months ago

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

3 months ago

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

3 months ago

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

3 months ago

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

3 months ago

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

3 months ago

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

3 months ago

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

3 months ago

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

3 months ago

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

3 months ago

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

3 months ago