Commentary:
Getting drenched vertically is soooo last season 🌧️☔😅
314 Funny only quotes
Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.
Commentary:
Believing guys is a lot easier when they start with the right compliment! 😏💁♀️✨
Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
Adulting is a thrilling balance between achieving next to nothing and accomplishing absolutely everything in two days! 😅🛋️☕
Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?
Commentary:
Guess I’ll just flip a coin before tying the knot 🤔💍😂
People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.
Commentary:
Boldly going where no 'Trekkie' has gone before… straight into the wrong fandom 🚀🌌😂
Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.
Commentary:
When the fun gets going, my funds get going… going… gone! 💸😂🤦♂️
If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.
Commentary:
Procrastination level: Expert! ⏰😎 Why rush when you can embrace the thrill of last-minute genius? 🚀😂
I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.
Commentary:
"Always knew I was a 'pretty' big deal! 😎✨ #PositivityChampion"
True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.
Commentary:
"When you answer just one question, you're not dodging bullets—you're running a marathon in a minefield! 🏃♂️💥😅"
Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”
Commentary:
"Pancakes are the only acceptable breakfast discourse! 🥞😂 But seriously, where's the waffle outrage committee when you need 'em? 🤷♂️ #BreakfastDebates"