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92 Funny own quotes

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

3 months ago

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

3 months ago

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

3 months ago

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

3 months ago

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

3 months ago

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

3 months ago

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

3 months ago

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

3 months ago

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

3 months ago

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

3 months ago

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

3 months ago

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

3 months ago

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

3 months ago

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

3 months ago

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

3 months ago

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

3 months ago

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

3 months ago

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

3 months ago

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

3 months ago

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

3 months ago