179 Funny own quotes

• Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

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  21 hours ago

  better, computer, humor, lived, nostalgia, old, old times, only, own, privacy, room, sometimes, specific, technology, things, times

• I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

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  21 hours ago

  advice, expense, expensive, food, frustration, gardening, grow, humor, i, just, okay, own, posts, sarcasm, think, too, why

• My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

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  22 hours ago

  dead, humor, joke, life, own, relationship, sex, sex life, tombstone

• What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

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  23 hours ago

  buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth

• For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

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  24 hours ago

  advice, emotional, emotional health, forgetting, health, humor, memory, mindset, move, move on, never, own, reality, relationship, sanity

• For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

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  1 day ago

  advice, always, communication, decision, decision making, humor, making, mixed, mixed signal, own, sanity, signal, signals, take

• Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

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  1 day ago

  asking, cigarette, humor, joke, own, pack, smoking, stealing

• (to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

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  1 day ago

  boys, hope, humor, i, milkshake, own, playful, playful teasing, teasing, yard

• I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

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  1 day ago

  forgetfulness, humor, i, joke, memory, own, party, plan, planning, surprise, surprise party, swear, worse

• They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

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  1 day ago

  anyone, appropriation, cultural, cultural appropriation, culture, dog, else, gender, gender reveal, got, humor, i, invited, joke, just, own, party, people, reveal, say, white, white culture

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