Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Making waves on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Shared recently on X:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Just landed via Twitch:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Breaking via Threads:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

32 Funny panic quotes

Funny panic quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when stress hits hard 😱😂. They turn anxiety into laughter, reminding us that sometimes the best way to cope is with a big dose of humor 🤪💥. Whether you’re freaking out over a tiny mishap or a full-blown meltdown, these witty lines will have you chuckling instead of panicking in no time! 😅🔥

New funny panic quotes 👇

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

5 hours ago

after, art, exhausted, fleeing, humor, i, karate, last, last resort, martial, martial art, panic, resort, screaming, self-defense
Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

20 hours ago

anxiety, escape, give, humor, just, me, minutes, panic, panic room, room, time
Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

23 hours ago

advice, day, humor, management, mode, morning, panic, rush, start, start day, starting, stop, stress, time, time management
Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

3 weeks ago

anxiety, bomb, chest, demand, forgot, humor, panic, strapped, stress, ticking, ticking bomb
Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

1 month ago

30s, compliment, congrats, dating, decision making, humor, panic, person, pick, relationship, should, unmarried, wrong
I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

1 month ago

always, anxiety, figure, humor, i, just, need, own, panic, problem, problem-solving, self-reliance, solving, stress
Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

2 months ago

attack, communication, emotional, emotional intensity, i, intensity, man, me, men, mine, nonchalant, nonchalant man, panic, panic attack, relationship, talking, want
Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

2 months ago

anxiety, brain, brains, humor, panic, relax, something, stress, Sunday, want, weekend, weird
Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

2 months ago

ASAP, attack, confusion, Googling, having, internet, internet search, means, misunderstanding, panic, panic attack, search, stress, urgency
“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

2 months ago

AI, attack, caffeine, coffee, coming, drink, human, human reaction, humor, ID, job, panic, panic attack, reaction, stress, technology, workplace

For even more funny panic quotes, hit next 👇

All funny panic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

51 shares on Discord this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

66 shares on Slack this month:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

43 shares on Instagram this month:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Shared recently on Threads:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Shared recently on Slack:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Going viral on Threads:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Going viral on X:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴