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40 Funny pay quotes

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

3 months ago

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

3 months ago

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

3 months ago

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

3 months ago

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

3 months ago

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

3 months ago

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

3 months ago

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

3 months ago

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

3 months ago

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

3 months ago

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

3 months ago

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

3 months ago

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

3 months ago

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

3 months ago

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

3 months ago

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

3 months ago

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

3 months ago

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

3 months ago

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

3 months ago

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

3 months ago