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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Iโ€™m not here to offend anyone; Iโ€™m here to offend everyone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m trying to shower you with affection. It doesnโ€™t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ง has downloaded:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyoneโ€™s getting well wishes for Christmas.

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