Funny poop quotes

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  6 days ago

  Share →: Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

  Commentary:
  When your dog takes longer to poop than your favorite show takes for a new season… 🍿🐶⏳

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

  Commentary:
  "Channeling my inner 'aimbird' 🎯🦜… watch out below! 💩😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

  Commentary:
  🐶😂 "Who's a good boy? Apparently not Bob, because he's turning your rug into his personal bathroom! 😅 Talk about mixing up identities – Bob's living his best (but most mischievous) human name life! 🐕💩 #DogsWithHumanNames"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic grocery store potty tax scheme! It's like a sneak attack on your wallet from the humble loaf of bread to the royal throne. 🍞💸💩 Keep those eyes peeled for the real MVPs of the grocery game – toilet paper and bank accounts!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'bird' request: asking for freedom, soaring high, and of course, a bit of mischief with the pooping privileges 💩🦅 Just remember, with great flying power comes great responsibility… and potentially messy consequences! Watch out below! 😄"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

  Commentary:
  "From heroic K-9s to… poop-strategist extraordinaire! 🐶💩 Let's just say, every dog has its own 'special talent'! 😄 #PoopPrecision"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine being a cat and having your humans obsess over your bathroom habits like it's the latest reality TV show 🙀💩 Talk about living under surveillance 24/7! Maybe cats have secret meetings plotting how to prank us in retaliation for all the poop monitoring 😹 #CatConspiracy"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

  Commentary:
  🌕🕺💩 "Who knew the moonwalk could have such a practical application? Talk about turning a crappy situation into a smooth move! Michael Jackson would be proud of this unique use of his signature dance 😄👟 #moonwalkmagic"

For even more funny poop quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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