196 Funny put quotes

• It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

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  3 days ago

  bed, bedtime, bedtime conflict, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, child, conflict, little, parenthood, people, put, routine, seems, sleep, struggle, unfair, unfairness, want

• I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

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  4 days ago

  apology, bathroom, bathroom scale, corner, humor, i, joke, liar, lie, little, personification, put, scale, stay, weight, where

• If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

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  3 weeks ago

  day, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, joke, leg, leg day, legs, love, mean, put, shoulders, workout, yes

• AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

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  3 weeks ago

  AI, emotion, human, human emotion, humor, machine, me, much, never, put, replace, replacement, self-loathing, technology

• One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

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  3 weeks ago

  casual, casual conversation, conversation, drink, humor, kettle, let, main, me, phrase, put, reasons, say, stuff, tea

• People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

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  4 weeks ago

  apartment, apartment window, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, display, face, gratitude, holiday, holiday humor, humor, people, public, public display, put, service, street, thank, thank you, tree, trees, window, Windows

• When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

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  1 month ago

  advice, ask, help, helpful, humor, i, last, losing, memory, put, question, questions, search, someone, something, where

• Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

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  1 month ago

  2, 5, actually, am, awesome, bedtime, black, couple, cozy, evening, feels, humor, movie, night, only, perception, pitch, put, reality, staying, super, time, time perception, winter

• Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

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  1 month ago

  big, black, Black Friday, consumerism, Friday, grocery, humor, put, sale, shopping, TV, TVs

• The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

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  1 month ago

  glasses, hottest, humor, i, intimacy, place, put, relationship, safe, safety, sex, take

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