Funny quotes put

115 Funny put quotes

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

5 days ago

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

2 weeks ago

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

2 weeks ago

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

1 month ago

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

1 month ago

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

1 month ago

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

1 month ago

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

1 month ago

I need you to put the fun in refund!

1 month ago

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

1 month ago

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

1 month ago

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

2 months ago

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

2 months ago

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

2 months ago

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

2 months ago

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

2 months ago

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

3 months ago

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

3 months ago

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

3 months ago

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

3 months ago