Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle is real! Watch out, folks, for the legendary battle between a clingy sports bra and a slightly damp body – it's a showdown of epic proportions! 🔥💦 Just when you thought post-shower routines couldn't get any more dramatic, the sports bra swoops in to steal the show. Hell hath no fury like a sports bra on a mission! 😅👙 #WetAndWildDrama
6 months ago
Share →: “I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Commentary:
"Ah, the circle of life: waking up just to look forward to going back to bed 😴🔄 Who said motivation doesn't strike early in the morning? 🌞 #SleepIsLife"
6 months ago
Share →: I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Commentary:
"Blood pressure kits: when the struggle to fit everything back in that tiny zip-up bag becomes the real test of your cardiovascular endurance. 💼😂 #ZipItRealGood"
6 months ago
Share →: My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Commentary:
"Looks like I've finally found someone who can multitask without even trying! 🤣💦 #Skills"
6 months ago
Share →: I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Commentary:
When life gives you a mix-up of words, just roll with it and embrace the chaos like a champ! 🙃 Who knew "all worries" could be the perfect phrase for those moments when everything feels slightly off-kilter? Just remember, sometimes it’s the slip-ups that bring the biggest smiles! 😄 #EmbraceTheAwkward
6 months ago
Share →: Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the trifecta of office woes: The chill chum, the famished friend, and the sleepy sidekick. But you? You are the ultimate office unicorn, embodying all three in a majestic display of multitasking magnificence! 🦄❄️🍔😴."
6 months ago
Share →: I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Commentary:
"Laundry, the ultimate relationship status: always piling up and never folding back. 🧺😏 #SingleAF #LaundryDayBlues"
6 months ago
Share →: I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Commentary:
"Who knew toast could be so full of surprises! 😱🍞 Maybe the real pop-up surprise show is happening right in your kitchen! Keep those reflexes sharp and your witty comebacks even sharper! 😄🔥"
6 months ago
Share →: That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate struggle of hoarding virtual loot and pristine produce 🍌🍎🕹️ Don't worry, we've all been there… hanging onto that golden apple like it’s the rarest treasure in the land! Just remember, in both gaming and life, sometimes you just have to take a bite and savor the sweetness! 😉🎮🍇
6 months ago
Share →: Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Commentary:
"Feeling like a hotel microwave: all that potential, but in reality, just a warm and forgettable presence 🍿💥 Just waiting for someone to hit the 'start' button on life! 🔌 #MicrowaveMood"