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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

God saw you do that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I put the mess in domestic.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m sick of living through history!

Going viral on Instagram:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Shared recently on X:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

1528 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

2 weeks ago

baby, date, girl, girls, great, i, idea, pay, relationship, trip
“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

2 weeks ago

9, coping, coping skill, date, dramatic, emotional, healthy, humor, just, me, minutes, November, November Rain, rain, relationship, self-awareness, skill, skills, someone, too
Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

2 weeks ago

emotion, family, feelings, humor, i, just, know, means, partner, realization, relationship
Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

2 weeks ago

communication, conflict, enemy, great, humor, internet, media, new, relationship, sarcasm, social, social media
Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

2 weeks ago

communication, dating, dislike, love, mean, mixed, mixed signal, rejection, relationship, signal, signals, simple
Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

2 weeks ago

bit, breakup, call, divorce, expense, expensive, humor, just, marriage, middle, relationship, skip, stress
I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

2 weeks ago

bet, dating, everything, feelings, fine, humor, i, pretending, relationship, sarcasm, somewhere, soulmate
Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

2 weeks ago

bad, bad relationship, dating, Facebook, Facebook memory, humor, i, life, love, love life, majority, me, memory, men, regret, relationship, taste, thank
A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

2 weeks ago

best, boyfriend, coworker, dynamics, friend, friends, friendship, humor, relationship, social, social dynamics, workplace
I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

2 weeks ago

am, funnier, humor, i, joke, marriage, marry, me, relationship, self-confidence, someone, wit

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All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on X this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

40 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Shared recently on Slack:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Going viral on WeChat:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Going viral on Slack:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Going viral on TikTok:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Activity Log ✨

1528 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨