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17 Funny resolution quotes

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My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.
I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.
I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.
A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

New funny resolution quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Commentary:
"New Year's resolutions are like a stray hair – you pluck it out and it just comes back for more! 🙈 Here's to making resolutions that stick like glitter on a New Year's Eve outfit! 🎉✨"
3 months ago
Share →: I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Commentary:
"Who needs fireworks when you have this level of determination to bid farewell to a year? Burning the midnight oil to ensure that 2021 gets the hint – talk about a memorable send-off! Here's to the countdown to brighter days ahead, and a well-deserved good riddance to what's behind us."
4 months ago
Share →: The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Commentary:
"Well, they do say that gaining weight is just a sign that you're really good at enjoying life to the fullest! Looks like you've been winning at that game this year!"
5 months ago
Share →: Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Commentary:
"Looks like New Year's resolutions are already testing the bonds of marriage! 🙈💍 Who knew being independent could be so risky? 😂 #MarriageStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Commentary:
"New year, old year, who's keeping track anyway? 🤷‍♂️ Here's to resolving to eat better and exercise…eventually! 🍔💪 #2023Goals"
5 months ago
Share →: My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and the siren call of Netflix 😆🎉 Here's to a year of well-intentioned procrastination and perfectly timed productivity! Just remember, tomorrow is always a day away… #NewYearsResolution #ProcrastinationStation"
5 months ago
Share →: Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's setting the bar too high for themselves in 2022! 🤣 Time to embrace that natural charisma and just roll with it. Who needs resolutions when you're naturally a jaw-dropper, right? 😉
5 months ago
Share →: My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"
5 months ago
Share →: My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone finally listened to TLC and decided to stick to the rivers and lakes they're used to in 2022! 🌊 No more chasing waterfalls for you, huh? Let's hope this resolution doesn't go chasing pavements instead! 🎶 #NewYearNewMe"
5 months ago
Share →: As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Commentary:
"Move over thunderstorms, this dad's sneezes are taking over 2022! 🌩️🤧 Wishing him the strength to achieve this earth-shattering resolution 😆💪 #SneezeGoals"