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19 Funny resolution quotes

Funny resolution quotes are the perfect way to kickstart your new year with a smile 😄🎉! Whether you’re dodging typical goals or embracing hilarious twists on self-improvement, these witty gems bring laughter and motivation together 🤪✨. Ready to laugh through the ups and downs of your resolutions? Let’s dive into some chuckle-worthy inspiration that makes sticking to your goals way more fun! 🚀😂

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Posted on2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Posted onMar 18, 2025

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Posted onMar 17, 2025

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Posted onFeb 25, 2025

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Posted onJan 28, 2025

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Posted onJan 25, 2025

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Posted onJan 25, 2025

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Posted onJan 25, 2025

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Posted onJan 25, 2025

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Posted onJan 25, 2025

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Posted onJan 20, 2025

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