17 Funny resolution quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

  Commentary:
  "New Year's resolutions are like a stray hair – you pluck it out and it just comes back for more! 🙈 Here's to making resolutions that stick like glitter on a New Year's Eve outfit! 🎉✨"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs fireworks when you have this level of determination to bid farewell to a year? Burning the midnight oil to ensure that 2021 gets the hint – talk about a memorable send-off! Here's to the countdown to brighter days ahead, and a well-deserved good riddance to what's behind us."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The only thing I gained this year is weight.

  Commentary:
  "Well, they do say that gaining weight is just a sign that you're really good at enjoying life to the fullest! Looks like you've been winning at that game this year!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like New Year's resolutions are already testing the bonds of marriage! 🙈💍 Who knew being independent could be so risky? 😂 #MarriageStruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

  Commentary:
  "New year, old year, who's keeping track anyway? 🤷‍♂️ Here's to resolving to eat better and exercise…eventually! 🍔💪 #2023Goals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and the siren call of Netflix 😆🎉 Here's to a year of well-intentioned procrastination and perfectly timed productivity! Just remember, tomorrow is always a day away… #NewYearsResolution #ProcrastinationStation"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's setting the bar too high for themselves in 2022! 🤣 Time to embrace that natural charisma and just roll with it. Who needs resolutions when you're naturally a jaw-dropper, right? 😉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone finally listened to TLC and decided to stick to the rivers and lakes they're used to in 2022! 🌊 No more chasing waterfalls for you, huh? Let's hope this resolution doesn't go chasing pavements instead! 🎶 #NewYearNewMe"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

  Commentary:
  "Move over thunderstorms, this dad's sneezes are taking over 2022! 🌩️🤧 Wishing him the strength to achieve this earth-shattering resolution 😆💪 #SneezeGoals"

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