23 Funny resolution quotes

• My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

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  4 weeks ago

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• Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

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  4 weeks ago

  advice, humor, lighten, lighten up, list, motivation, need, put, resolution, Resolutions

• My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

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  4 weeks ago

  beam, goal, humor, light, new, new year, powerful, resolution, year

• That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

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  4 weeks ago

  couple, diet, humor, January, last, lose, loss, moment, new, new year resolution, passing, procrastination, realize, resolution, still, time, time passing, trying, weeks, weight, weight loss, year

• If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

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  4 weeks ago

  30, again, agree, anger, back, board, board of directors, chat, communication, conflict, conflict resolution, directors, forgiveness, friends, group, group chat, humor, later, mad, means, minutes, relationship, resolution, told

• Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

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  4 weeks ago

  again, calorie, diet, food, happen, humor, indulgence, never, resolution, weekend, whatever

• A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

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  4 weeks ago

  goal, humor, irony, motivation, new, new year, resolution, year

• I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

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  4 weeks ago

  celebration, eve, holiday, humor, joke, midnight, new, new year, past, resolution, staying, staying up, time, year

• The only thing I gained this year is weight.

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  1 month ago

  fitness, gain, humor, new, new year, resolution, self-deprecation, thing, weight, year

• Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

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  1 month ago

  approval, decision, decisions, humor, independent, independent decision, making, new, new year, resolution, waiting, wife, year

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