81 Funny self quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

  Commentary:
  "Tom Cruise does his own stunts! 🌟💥 Okay cool, but so do I… in my daily quest to avoid folding laundry and tackling the overflowing dishes mountain! 💪😂 #EverydayHero"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

  Commentary:
  "Alright, integrity, we see you out here flexing 💪 No compromises allowed in this VIP zone! 😎 Keep shining, you sassy little virtue! ✨"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

  Commentary:
  "Reminder: Just because the map says there's a road, doesn't mean your car won't end up off-roading! 🗺️🚗 #MapFail #TrustIssuesWithGPS"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

  Commentary:
  Looks like extrovert self booked a one-way ticket to FOMO-land, leaving introvert self stranded in the peaceful sanctuary of JOMO bliss. 🎉🤯🤷‍♂️ Time to reschedule those plans and find the perfect balance between social butterfly mode and hermit crab mode! 🦋🦀 #IntrovertStruggles #ExtrovertDrama #FindingTheSweetSpot

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like even your own self is ghosting you now! 📵😂 Maybe it's time for some self-reflection on your caller ID skills. #VoicemailVoices"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

  Commentary:
  "Who needs read receipts when you can keep your 'I didn't see your message' game strong? 🙈📵 Might as well maintain that aura of mystery and keep people guessing, am I right? 😉 #StealthyTexting"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a costume when you're already a real-life character? 🎃😄 Just add a cape and call it a day! You're spooktacular just the way you are 👻 #HalloweenReady"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: “The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the age-old battle between our aspirations and our inner procrastinator 🤷‍♂️ Don't you just love it when you outsmart yourself before you even get started? 🙃 Looks like we've got a classic case of self-sabotage at its finest! 💭 Keep calm and blame it on "you" – the ultimate dream crusher! #DreamsVsYOU 😆🚫💭

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the classic love-hate relationship between motivation and me – it's like a never-ending romantic drama series! 💔🤣 Just when you think you're on the same page, it decides to ghost you. Ah, the complexities of this rollercoaster ride called life! 🎢😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical transformation that occurs when the boss utters those dreaded words – 'You should be working.' 🧙‍♂️ Suddenly, a totally different, more productive (but slightly less fun) version of yourself emerges. It's like a superhero origin story, except with less crime-fighting and more spreadsheets. 💼 #WorkModeActivated"

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