Wordgag ツ

3 months ago
Share →: I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic hide-and-seek game between you and your own wallet! 🕵️‍♂️💸 Who will outwit whom in this battle of financial espionage? Maybe try stashing your money in a place so secret, even you can't find it! 🤑🔍 #MoneyMystery"
3 months ago
Share →: Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Commentary:
"Twitter: where you can have a full-blown conversation with yourself and suddenly find a whole cheer squad of random strangers joining in 🤪👏 #EchoChamber"
3 months ago
Share →: “It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Commentary:
"I thought I had a one-track mind, turns out it's more like a crowded party bus 🧠🚌 #MindMeldingProblems"
3 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic internal conflict – the ultimate showdown between you and…you 🥊😂 Who will come out victorious in this epic battle of wills? Stay tuned for the next episode of Self vs. Self, coming soon to a mirror near you! 💥🤼‍♂️"
4 months ago
Share →: The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like you're the true CEO (Coolness Enhancing Officer) at your workplace! 💰😎 Keep shining bright like a diamond… or should I say, like a paycheck! 💎💸 #CoolCatBoss
4 months ago
Share →: Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Commentary:
"Big round of applause to me 👏 for single-handedly taking the 'self-sabotage' game to a whole new level! Who needs enemies when you've got yourself, am I right? 🤦‍♂️💥 #selfdestructivegenius"
4 months ago
Share →: Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Commentary:
Sounds like your skin is the ultimate rebel, totally unfazed by your diligent skincare routine! 😂🤷‍♀️ Who needs soft skin when you can have an attitude, right? Keep pampering that sassy skin of yours, maybe one day it'll decide to play nice! 😜✨ #SkincareStruggles
4 months ago
Share →: Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Commentary:
"Well, it appears the house has mastered the art of self-decorating with dirt. Now if only it could also learn how to pick up after itself. Maybe we should start looking for a self-cleaning house on Amazon Prime!"
4 months ago
Share →: I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Commentary:
"Saving daylight? Please, I need to save myself from hitting that snooze button for the fifth time! ⏰😂 #NotAMorningPerson"
5 months ago
Share →: Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Commentary:
Ah, the tumultuous twenties – a time for making questionable decisions and questionable fashion choices! 🤪 It's the decade of discovering who you are by pretending to be someone you're not, all while surviving on a diet of ramen noodles and broken dreams. 🍜💔 Just remember, it's all part of the grand masterpiece that is adulthood! 🎨 #LivingTheTwentiesDream