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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,375

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Making waves on Telegram:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Going viral on YouTube:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Trending via Facebook:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Seen just now on Discord:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

37 Funny social situation quotes

More funny social situation quotes 👇

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

1 week ago

around, humor, patience, patience test, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation, something, test, too, witnesses
You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

1 week ago

approval, ask, call, confidence, dating, girls, humor, i, me, parental, parental approval, parents, sarcasm, scare, situation, social, social situation, teenage, used, wit
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

1 week ago

bartender, baseball, explain, guy, humor, i, just, meeting, met, music, please, situation, social, social situation, trying, turn, works
That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

1 week ago

crowded, humor, irony, joke, nobody, place, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation
Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

1 week ago

activity, app, apps, cafe, confused, dating, dating app, fun, fun activity, humor, looking, situation, social, social situation, time, walk, working
I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

1 week ago

around, boredom, feel, frustration, humor, i, jail, loneliness, people, situation, social, social situation, too, unfunny
That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

1 week ago

awkward, awkward moment, before, boss, humor, leave, leaving, leaving work, moment, office, professional, situation, social, social situation, unexpected, work, workplace, workplace humor
Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

1 week ago

awkwardness, best, couple, dating, friends, friendship, girls, humor, jealousy, much, situation, social, social situation, third, third wheel, wheel, worse
The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

1 week ago

awkward, awkward moment, discomfort, embarrassment, funny situation, humor, moment, situation, social, social situation, tell, zipper
I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

1 week ago

acceptance, awkwardness, food, hate, humor, i, offer, situation, social, social situation, someone

For even more funny social situation quotes, hit next 👇

All funny social situation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Messenger this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

34 shares on Discord this month:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Not again. I mean good morning.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Breaking via Instagram:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Shared recently on TikTok:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Going viral on YouTube:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Trending via WeChat:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Shared recently on Discord:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Just landed via Instagram:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Making waves on YouTube:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Making waves on Twitch:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Activity Log ✨

37 Funny social situation quotes

More funny social situation quotes 👇

All funny social situation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨