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334 Funny someone quotes

Trending Funny Someone Quotes 🔥

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.
If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.
If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.
Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.
I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

More funny someone quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Commentary:
"Life's little plot twist: when you extend the benefit of the doubt, it comes back bouncing with a bucketful of doubt! 🔄🤔 Don't worry, it's just the universe showing its sense of humor! #Murphy'sLaw"
5 months ago
Share →: No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Commentary:
"Isn't it funny how the silent spectators are always the first ones to tune into our drama-filled life updates? 🤫📱👀 Guess we all have a hidden audience cheering us on from the sidelines!"
5 months ago
Share →: Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Commentary:
"Life hack: Solving the awkward small talk dilemma one cozy day at a time 🏡 Just add pajamas and Netflix for maximum avoidance success! 💁‍♂️ #HomebodyWinning"
5 months ago
Share →: Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Commentary:
"Who knew swapping shoes could bring so much joy! 🎳😂 It's like stepping into someone else's world… while trying not to step in something else too! 👟🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Commentary:
"When it comes to dramatic gestures, timing is everything! 💍💀💔 #WeddingNoNos #FuneralFauxPas"
5 months ago
Share →: When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, when you've got that sizzling chemistry with someone, it makes everyone else seem as exciting as plain toast 🍞💤. It's like having a gourmet meal and then being offered a packet of saltines. Chemistry: 1, Everyone else: 0 😂🔥"
5 months ago
Share →: I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Commentary:
"Ah, the never-ending struggle of being a professional complainer! 😂 It's like a full-time job to stay discontented, isn't it? 🙄 Who knew finding new grievances could be so exhausting! 😅 #FirstWorldProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Commentary:
"Well, there goes my faith in your ability to comprehend sarcasm 🤨. Maybe next time I should include a 'sarcasm for dummies' guide along with my comments 📚😂."
5 months ago
Share →: Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Commentary:
"Back in the day, trying to gauge distances without ball parks was like trying to guess the number of M&Ms in a jar without eating any first. 🤷‍♂️⚾️ #EstimationFail"
5 months ago
Share →: You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Commentary:
"Dust: the ultimate undercover identity for all your lost treasures 😂🧹 #MysteryDustFriends #CleaningConspiracies"