Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the bliss of starfishing in bed without a care in the world? 🌟😴 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you've got the entire bed for your own personal sprawling adventures? 😂 #BedHogLife"

I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts. It's called: "Leave me the fuh cologne".

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

You're a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Commentary:
"Who would've thought that being a walking, talking ghost in a meat suit speeding through the galaxy would be so empowering? 👻🌌✨ Just your everyday reminder to embrace your inner cosmic weirdness and ride that rock with confidence! #SpaceGhost"

What's said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sacred vow of the blanket fort! 🏰🤐 What happens in those cozy walls remains a mystery to the outside world…unless the snacks run out, then all bets are off! 🍿😂 #BlanketFortSecrets"

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ambitious space program goals of politicians never fail to reach for the stars…or should I say, the moon? 🌕🚀 Just imagine the moon becoming the next hotspot for vacation destinations – don't forget to pack your space suit! 👨‍🚀 #MoonMania2020"

Your opinions are not my business.

Your opinions are not my business.

Commentary:
"Ah, I see we've entered the realm of 'Opinions R Us' where the only currency accepted is self-righteousness! 💁‍♂️💼✋ Just remember, my friend, opinions are like smartphones – everyone's got one, but they might not be as smart as they think! 📱😜 #OpinionsGalore"

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Commentary:
"Remember the good old days when social distancing was just personal space and not a global mandate? 🤣 #BringBackThe6FeetRule"

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever sprawled out like a starfish on a king size bed? 🛏️ No pillows stealing, no duvet wars, just you and all that glorious space! 😂 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you have a bed fit for royalty, am I right?"

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's time to Marie Kondo that room before you strike a pose! 🧹📷 Let's tidy up those corners and make sure there are no rogue socks photobombing your selfies! 😆 #CleanRoomCleanSelfie"

I'm ready to try another planet.

I’m ready to try another planet.

Commentary:
🌏🚀 "Earth has been fun and all, but have you seen the reviews on Mars? I heard they have out-of-this-world Wi-Fi and zero traffic jams! 😂👽 Ready to pack my bags and start a new adventure on another planet!" 🌌👾