28 Funny standing quotes

• 

  1 day ago

  Share →: Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

  Commentary:
  Wow, someone's clearly the ninja master of creaky joints! 🤫🦸‍♂️

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

  Commentary:
  Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday 😅☕️ #WeekendWishfulThinking

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like the only thing cooking undisturbed tonight will be my patience! 🍳😅👨‍🍳

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like you've unlocked the ninja skill of sleep-standing! ☕️😴🧘‍♂️

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

  Commentary:
  "Those two people are the real bravehearts of clap wars! 👐😂👏"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

  Commentary:
  "Brainstorming session went a little longer than expected! 🚿🧠🤔🌧️ #DeepThoughts"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew my texting plan came with a free gym membership? 🏋️‍♂️😂📱"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'Nope, I totally needed to examine this random jar of olives right here' maneuver. 🛒😅 Next time, maybe we should bring a dancing distraction to shimmy them out of the way! 💃🕺"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic soundtrack of aging – the sweet serenade of popping knees harmonizing with the symphony of cracking joints 🎶💃🕺 Stay young at heart, even if your body disagrees 😉👵 #ForeverYoungButWithPoppingKnees"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

  Commentary:
  🎶🎶 "And now, presenting the next karaoke sensation… someone who takes 'Pink Panther' quite literally! 🐾 This performance is so smooth, you might mistake it for a cat burglar! 😹 Just watch out for the mysterious charm and the stealthy moves… or lack thereof! 🎶🎵 #KaraokeGoals"

For even more funny standing quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny standing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌