Funny quotes standing

21 Funny standing quotes

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025