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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Home » Funny Threat Quotes

21 Funny threat quotes

Funny threat quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of warnings and challenges 😜⚡ Whether you want to lighten the mood or playfully tease a friend, these witty lines add a splash of humor to any conversation 😂🔥 Get ready to laugh out loud while keeping things cheeky and fun—because who said threats can’t be funny? 😎💥

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Posted on7 days ago7 days ago

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Posted on4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Posted onFeb 9, 2025Feb 10, 2025

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Posted onFeb 9, 2025Feb 9, 2025

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Posted onJan 28, 2025

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Posted onJan 26, 2025

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Posted onJan 25, 2025

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Posted onJan 21, 2025

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Posted onJan 20, 2025

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