14 Funny threat quotes

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

  Commentary:
  When your kid's "special" gift comes with a side of intimidation 😂🎁🙄

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the original 'Skip Intro' that no one dared to fast-forward 😂🔍🎥 #VHSNostalgia"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out! My skill with a blade is only matched by my love for Shakira! 🎶⚔️😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

  Commentary:
  Eye of newt, spite of ex—let’s get petty, medieval style 🧙‍♀️🕯️📜

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the only thing faster than a dog sprinting after you is my sarcasm chasing after your bad jokes! 🐕🔥😂 But hey, at least my chasing skills won’t leave you panting… unless it's from laughing too hard! 😄🎉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

  Commentary:
  🤣📺 When your husband's love for sports gets a little too aggressive, just whip out those tariff threats! Who knew trade negotiations could also be part of marital bliss? 💼🏈 #TradeWarsAtHome #SportsVsTariffs

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone found a creative way to navigate domestic disagreements! 🤣💰 Who knew trade policies could play a role in marital diplomacy? Just remember, a healthy dose of laughter is the best antidote to tariffs! 😉 #MarriageTradeWars

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

  Commentary:
  "The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy… trying to figure out who approves which forms in triplicate! 📝🤯 Who knew paperwork could be so subversive?! "

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: December you will be good to me (threateningly).

  Commentary:
  Oh December, we're all watching you 👀 Don't even think about slacking off with the holiday cheer 🎅🎄 Time to be good, or else… 🌟 #DecemberDemandsExcellence

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

  Commentary:
  Looks like his marriage is facing a force to be reckoned with! 🌌💔 May the divorce settlement be fair and may the custody of the collectibles be shared! 🤣 #StarWarsMarriageDrama

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