28 Funny truth quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  View →: I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.
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  4 months ago

  View →: People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.
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  4 months ago

  View →: It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.
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  4 months ago

  View →: When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.
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  4 months ago

  View →: There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

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