Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,866

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Live now on YouTube:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Live now on Twitch:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Just landed via Reddit:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Trending via Messenger:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Going viral on Discord:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Just shared via YouTube:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Home » Funny Usage Quotes

Funny usage quotes

Funny usage quotes bring a burst of laughter to everyday language mishaps 😂💬 Whether it’s quirky word mix-ups or hilarious grammar blunders, these gems remind us that language doesn’t always have to be serious 📚🤣 Perfect for brightening your day or sharing a chuckle with friends, dive into the lighter side of words and enjoy the playful twists that make communication so entertaining! 🗣️✨

New funny usage quotes 👇

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

0

1 month ago

app, app usage, borrowed, borrowing, cash, cash app, debt, finance, humor, i, just, money, uninstall, usage
Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, humor, i, identity, language, literally, nothing, usage, word, word usage, words
Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

0

2 months ago

grammar, humor, joke, professional, punctuation, semicolon, usage, writing
I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adults, couch, couch potato, humor, humor quote, i, ignore, ignoring, ignoring problems, laziness, life, phone, phone usage, play, potato, problems, procrastination, run, sit, usage
She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

0

2 months ago

detox, digital, digital detox, ever, everyday, everyday life, humor, just, life, novelty, phone, phone usage, right, surprise, technology, time, usage, using, whole
I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

0

2 months ago

computer, computer usage, dark, dark mode, digital, digital lifestyle, humor, lifestyle, mode, much, physically, preference, screen, screen preference, screens, tech, tech humor, ui, UI preference, usage, used, white, white screen
You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

0

2 months ago

email, fun, humor, office, office fun, succulent, surprise, times, usage, word, word usage, work, work email
For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

0

3 months ago

addiction, dry, dry phone, humor, much, phone, screen, screen time, someone, technology, time, too, usage
Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

0

4 months ago

case, correction, grammar, humor, interest, just, know, language, peaked, piqued, spelling, usage, word, word usage

All funny usage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Facebook this month:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

23 shares on X this month:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

61 shares on Threads this month:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,832

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Seen just now on Messenger:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Just shared via Reddit:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Making waves on Facebook:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Spotted on Twitch:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Live now on Threads:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Just landed via Instagram:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Spotted on Messenger:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

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