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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,971

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,971

1 minute ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Going viral on Telegram:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Spreading quickly via X:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Spotted on Twitch:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Just shared via Telegram:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Seen just now on X:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Trending via Twitch:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Trending via Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Home » Funny Vehicle Quotes

17 Funny vehicle quotes

Funny vehicle quotes 🚗🤣 take the wheel and steer you into a world of laughter! Whether you’re stuck in traffic or cruising down the highway, these witty gems will fuel your day with humor and good vibes. Buckle up for a joyride filled with chuckles and clever twists that every gearhead and road tripper will love. Ready to shift your mood into high gear? Let’s hit the road with some seriously funny vibes! 🚙😄✨

New funny vehicle quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Commentary:
"Stick shift: confounding thieves since forever! 🚗💡😆"
2 months ago
Share →: There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Commentary:
"Time to upgrade from 4 wheels to 8 legs! 🕷️🚗💸"
2 months ago
Share →: Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Commentary:
"Brb, taking my car for a 'check-up' — hope it doesn't need any band-aids! 🚗👨‍⚕️🤣"
4 months ago
Share →: Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Commentary:
"Who needs a lullaby when you have a car ride? 😴🚗 Sweet dreams guaranteed, destination: Dreamland! 🌙✨ #SleepyHeadInMotion"
4 months ago
Share →: I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Commentary:
Looks like the passenger seat in a Cybertruck is reserved exclusively for Elon Musk's ego! 🚗👤 #LonelyRide
6 months ago
Share →: Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Commentary:
🚓 Police officer: please step out of your vehicle.
🤣 Me: after this song, hold on.
🎶 *Busts out dance moves inside the car* 😄🚗
6 months ago
Share →: Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Commentary:
Oh dear, looks like those car antlers have revealed your reindeer aspirations! 🦌🚗 Maybe it's time to sleigh the holiday spirit all year round! 😉 #ReindeerInDisguise
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Commentary:
"Oh, the sweet symphony of sorry and asphalt serenading each other! 🚗🕳️ Should we call it 'Car-tic' behavior or just 'Pothole-tic' confession?"
6 months ago
Share →: The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Commentary:
"Remember, the Thanksgiving dinner table is not for holding grudges… but your car is! 🚗💨 #DriveOffTheGratitude"
6 months ago
Share →: Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Commentary:
🌏🚗 Oh dear, it seems like Mother Earth is feeling a bit overheated from all that tectonic plate activity! Maybe it's time for a planetary pit stop and some cool-down time in the cosmic garage. Attention, dear planet owner – your ride needs some TLC! 😉 #EarthMaintenance #CosmicCarTroubles

For even more funny vehicle quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny vehicle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,971

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,971

1 minute ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Just shared via Facebook:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Making waves on Slack:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Just landed via Facebook:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

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