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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,924

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Going viral on Instagram:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Seen just now on Discord:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Spotted on Messenger:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Just landed via TikTok:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Trending via Instagram:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Just shared via Threads:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

63 Funny wear quotes

More funny wear quotes 👇

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

0

2 months ago

bowling, clown, clown shoe, different, funny observation, humor, invention, observation, oh, person, reason, shoe, wear, well
The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

0

3 months ago

bad, bad news, eating, forgot, good, good news, humor, i, new, news, shirt, spaghetti, wear
Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

0

3 months ago

able, clothing, fall, fashion, frustration, got, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, i, long-sleeve, long-sleeve shirt, mismatch, new, sad, seasonal, seasonal frustration, shirt, sorry, temperature, wear, weather, weather mismatch
Is it socially acceptable to wear pajamas all day if you’re constantly holding a coffee cup?

0

4 months ago

acceptable, casual, casual wear, coffee, coffee cup, comfort, cup, daily, daily routine, day, holding, humor, norm, pajama, pajamas, relaxation, routine, social, social norm, socially, wear
Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

0

4 months ago

black, black T-shirt, casual, casual wear, clothing, dining, fine, fine dining, hair, humor, i, mind, owner, pet, pet hair, pet owner, restaurant, t-shirt, wear
Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

0

5 months ago

autumn, beanie, cozy, excited, excitement, fall, fashion, feel, i, oh, oversized, sweater, Ugg, wear
Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

0

5 months ago

bisexual, care, deodorant, humor, i, identity, just, means, men’s, men’s product, perfume, personal, personal care, product, scent, wear
Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

0

5 months ago

anime, care, deodorant, even, humor, hygiene, man, personal, personal care, still, wear
Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

0

5 months ago

communication, humor, i, inform, leave, making, panty, party, public, relationship, remote-controlled, tired, vibrating, vibrating panty, want, wear
So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

0

5 months ago

clothes, daily, daily life, fresh, fresh start, heartbreak, humor, laundry, life, literally, never, realize, right, start, wash, washing, wear

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All funny wear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

87 shares on Discord this month:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

43 shares on Discord this month:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

97 shares on Reddit this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Making waves on Reddit:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Breaking via TikTok:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Breaking via WeChat:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Trending via Instagram:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Making waves on Discord:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Activity Log ✨

63 Funny wear quotes

More funny wear quotes 👇

All funny wear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨