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Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,933

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Trending via Instagram:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Going viral on Twitch:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Just landed via Telegram:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Shared recently on Reddit:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Making waves on TikTok:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Home » Funny Whole Quotes » Page 10

92 Funny whole quotes

More funny whole quotes 👇

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

0

5 months ago

alone, apartment, cause, cleaning, Funny, funny situation, having, humor, i, just, living, living alone, naked, own, place, situation, whole, yourself
A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

0

5 months ago

again, back, communication, female, ghost, ghosting, relationship, text, texting, time, waiting, whole

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

96 shares on X this month:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Going viral on Telegram:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Just landed via Discord:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Live now on Telegram:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Making waves on Slack:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Breaking via Threads:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

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Activity Log ✨

92 Funny whole quotes

More funny whole quotes 👇

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

All funny whole quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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