Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

188 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,457

Funny Quotes Topics

17,522

Funny Quotes Images

15,457

Updated

Jan 4, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Just shared via Reddit:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Making waves on Reddit:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Just landed via TikTok:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to adult while still needing a calculator for basic math and singing the ABCs like it's a concert tour 🎤🧮🎶

aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

0

2 months ago

celebration, feast, Feaster, food, holiday, humor, should, Thanksgiving
Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

0

2 months ago

2, accidentally, closed, frustration, humor, internet, just, meaning, past, procrastination, read, tab, time
People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

0

5 months ago

advantage, advantages, best, dumb, humor, intelligence, interaction, misunderstanding, people, perception, social, social interaction, thinking
I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

0

2 months ago

ads, body, body image, chin, chin fat, fat, getting, humor, image, offended, relevance, targeted, targeted ads
My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, cracks, every, fitness, glow, glow stick, humor, i, light, move, noise, pain, stick, time
The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

0

2 months ago

aliens, built, conspiracy, credit, Egyptians, history, humor, pyramid, pyramids, scheme

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

44 shares on Slack this month:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

28 shares on X this month:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

50 shares on Threads this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Just shared via Telegram:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Making waves on TikTok:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Going viral on Facebook:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Broadcasted on X:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨