Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

427 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,696

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,696

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Live now on Slack:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Going viral on Instagram:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Just landed via X:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Just landed via Telegram:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Trending via TikTok:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

1 day ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to adult but I still have a ramen noodle degree in financial management 🍜💸🤓

40s, adulthood, age, allowed, broke, college, college kid, grow, humor, kid, kids, lifestyle, living, middle, middle age, millennial, millennials, never, still, young, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

2 months ago

being, boy, ChatGPT, code, deep, dreams, game, Game Boy, inputs, just, maybe, resting, shore, tide, updates
Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

6 months ago

barcode, barcode scanner, behavior, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, grocery, grocery cart, money, much, put, scanner, shopping, should, spending, supermarket, technology, things
If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

2 months ago

grumpiness, humor, morning, spoken, unnoticed, unspoken
Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

2 months ago

brush, daily, daily routine, face, forget, hair, humor, hygiene, media, posts, routine, self-care, share, sharing, social, social media, teeth
The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

2 months ago

back, business, conversation, day, ego, humor, male, nostalgia, storytelling, tell, urge, used
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

2 months ago

body, body image, even, food, humor, i, image, life, own, pants, priorities, relationship, sex

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Threads this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

62 shares on Threads this month:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

82 shares on Slack this month:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Spotted on Discord:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Live now on LinkedIn:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Spotted on TikTok:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Live now on Reddit:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Going viral on Messenger:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨