Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Trending via YouTube:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Just shared via Reddit:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Just landed via Threads:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Making waves on Discord:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Spotted on X:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Making waves on YouTube:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

More funny quotes 👇

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

0

2 weeks ago

another, daily, daily grind, day, frustration, grind, hamster, hamster wheel, humor, life, monotony, nowhere, repetition, routine, sarcasm, wheel, work, work life
Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

0

2 weeks ago

alien, asking, boyfriend, date, done, experiment, gesture, humor, killed, kindness, me, only, perfect, relationship, replica, still
Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

0

2 weeks ago

asked, bar, bartender, give, Google, google review, humor, insane, keep, lowkey, me, method, one-star, place, prank, review, vibe
For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

0

2 weeks ago

again, am, exhaustion, humor, i, retired, retirement, tired, today, wondering, yes, yesterday
I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

0

2 weeks ago

Christmas, humor, i, meeting, met, real, said, Santa, tonight, trouble, warning
Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

0

2 weeks ago

around, bright, brightness, Christmas, Christmas light, here, holiday, humor, light, lights, only, personality, sarcasm, thing
Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

0

2 weeks ago

another, humor, just, Monday, reheated, repetition, tired, Tuesday, weekday, workweek
My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

0

2 weeks ago

child, equivalent, family, father, humor, joke, kid, kids, parenting, sibling, time, want, zero
Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

0

2 weeks ago

accent, Chinese, Chinese accent, cracking, funny prayer, God, humor, laughter, prayer, praying
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

0

2 weeks ago

before, driving, green, green light, hours, humor, i, light, marriage, me, patience, relationship, sit, stoplight, tell, waiting

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Slack this month:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

35 shares on Discord this month:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

84 shares on Slack this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

92 shares on Discord this month:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

32 shares on Threads this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Just shared via Twitch:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Going viral on Twitch:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Trending via Threads:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Spotted on WeChat:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Just landed via Threads:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨