204 Funny am quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

  Commentary:
  "From ballerina to box-doggo in one swift move! 🩰📦🐶 Who needs elegance when you've got charm and a cardboard accessory? Embrace the new you – the wobbly, wiggle-bum superstar! 🌟🐕"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

  Commentary:
  "Saving myself for marriage… or just saving you from discovering my true level of annoyance 🤷‍♀️💍 Beware, the surprise awaits! 😂 #KeepingItReal"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

  Commentary:
  "January, the month that never ends – perfect for those of us who need an extended deadline for paying rent on time! 😅💸 Who knew endless winter could be so financially convenient? ❄️💰 #JanuaryCheapskate"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, wise Yoda, the ultimate older man 🌟 When seeking guidance, who needs a sugar daddy when you've got a Jedi master? 🧙‍♂️ May the Force be with you as you navigate life's ups and downs, young Padawan! 🌌 #YodaWisdom"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

  Commentary:
  "Good morning, fellow sleep-deprived parent! 🌞😴 Looks like your baby is running on a unique time zone of their own! ⏰👶 Who needs coffee when you have baby wake-up calls every few hours? ☕️😆 Wishing you some uninterrupted sleep soon! 💤😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

  Commentary:
  "Who needs cardio when you can have a spiritual awakening, am I right? 🏃‍♂️🙏 #runninglateforheaven"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the scandalous lack of scandal on Netflix! 🙈 It's like paying for an all-you-can-eat buffet and only getting a breadstick 🥖. But hey, at least we can all enjoy those riveting documentaries about paint drying 🎨, right? 😂 #BringBackTheNudity"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting to understand people but also relishing in the beauty of blissful ignorance! 🤔🤷‍♂️ The mysterious world of human communication, where decoding conversations can feel like deciphering a secret code… or maybe we're just better off not knowing! 😄🔍 #LostInTranslation"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle of the genius mind – burdened by brilliance and plagued by existential angst. 🧠💡 Who knew that being too smart could be such a buzzkill? Maybe a little sprinkle of foolishness can bring the joy you seek! 🤪😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

  Commentary:
  "Age is just a number — it's all about perspective! 🕰️ Embracing the prime of our decay with style and grace. 😉 #ForeverYoung"

For even more funny am quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny am quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌