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Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,619

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Making waves on Instagram:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Live now on Discord:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Making waves on YouTube:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Seen just now on Discord:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Home » Funny Apple Quotes » Page 2

36 Funny apple quotes

More funny apple quotes 👇

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

0

2 months ago

apple, consequence, Earth, humor, irony, once, someone, suffering
How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

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2 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, audible, audible sigh, burn, calorie, credit, exercise, fitness, humor, i, me, sarcasm, self-awareness, sigh, technology, think, watch
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

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2 months ago

apple, cute, day, doctor, forget, fruit, health, humor, joke, relationship
I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

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2 months ago

apple, eaten, eating, fall, food, humor, i, mistake, people, percentage, pretty, relatable, sticker, sure, under
How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

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2 months ago

after, apple, brown, cut, humor, joke, mind, never, question, take, time, turn
An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

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2 months ago

apple, away, boredom, daily, daily routine, day, doctor, fun, humor, keep, keeps, routine, silly
The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

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2 months ago

apple, bible, eating, escalate, humor, irony, murder, religion, second, sin, storytelling
I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

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2 months ago

apple, communication, fake, hate, humor, i, people, power, power ranger, ranger, talk, technology, watch
“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

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2 months ago

apple, better, children, comparison, humor, life, loyalty, music, okay, playlists, quality, sound, Spotify
I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

0

2 months ago

apple, apples, away, day, eat, everyone, experiment, humor, i, keep, keep away, need, profession, whatever

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🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

34 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

26 shares on Slack this month:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

43 shares on X this month:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Activity Log ✨

36 Funny apple quotes

More funny apple quotes 👇

All funny apple quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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