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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Just shared via Instagram:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Going viral on Twitch:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

211 Funny attitude quotes

Funny attitude quotes offer a humorous take on the bold and sassy side of life. 😎😂 From witty observations about confidence to playful jabs at strong personalities, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of having a distinct attitude. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun in expressing yourself with flair! 😆💁‍♂️

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Slack this month:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

75 shares on Discord this month:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

36 shares on Discord this month:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The shitshow must go on.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Trending via X:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Trending via Instagram:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Live now on WeChat:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Going viral on Messenger:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Breaking via Messenger:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Making waves on Twitch:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Spotted on Facebook:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

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