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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Dec 30, 2025

3,752

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Making waves on Facebook:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Spotted on Facebook:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Breaking via Twitch:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Just landed via YouTube:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Just shared via Discord:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Just landed via Facebook:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Just shared via Messenger:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

205 Funny attitude quotes

Funny attitude quotes offer a humorous take on the bold and sassy side of life. 😎😂 From witty observations about confidence to playful jabs at strong personalities, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of having a distinct attitude. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun in expressing yourself with flair! 😆💁‍♂️

New funny attitude quotes 👇

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

0

3 days ago

actually, attitude, bring, culture, humor, i, manager, sort, urgency, urgent, vibe, work, work culture, workplace
Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

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2 weeks ago

attitude, born, forced, hater, humor, irony, perspective, understand, understanding
This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

0

2 weeks ago

am, attitude, humor, i, irony, kind, kindness, man, men, world
I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

0

2 weeks ago

attitude, check, complaint, complaints, contact, daughter, humor, i, manufacturer, parent-child, please, response, told, witty, witty response
I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

0

3 weeks ago

always, attitude, communication, decision, frustration, honesty, humor, i, just, people, respect, sarcasm, something, stupid, telling, want
If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

0

3 weeks ago

apology, attitude, expression, forget, humor, late, lateness, mad, office, punctuality, walk, work
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

0

4 weeks ago

2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude
I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

0

4 weeks ago

attitude, evil, humor, i, losing, love, me, men, personality, remind, self-reflection, sometimes, spark, thinking
The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

0

4 weeks ago

attitude, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, live, resilience, rumor, rumors, sarcasm, will to live
Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

0

4 weeks ago

attitude, complaint, hear, humor, i, manic, Monday, want

For even more funny attitude quotes, hit next 👇

All funny attitude quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

41 shares on X this month:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,953

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Just shared via TikTok:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Just shared via Discord:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Just shared via WeChat:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

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