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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Trending via Snapchat:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Shared recently on Slack:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Trending via TikTok:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Just shared via TikTok:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Funny August quotes

Funny August quotes bring the heat with laughter and sunny vibes ☀️😂! Whether you’re soaking up the last days of summer or dreaming of cool breezes, these witty and playful lines will keep your mood bright and your smile wide 🌻😎. Get ready to add some sass and sunshine to your feed, because August just got a whole lot funnier! 🌴🌞✨

New funny August quotes 👇

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

0

2 months ago

activity, arguing, argument, August, dating, fun, fun activity, humor, relationships, road, road trip, start, trip
Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

0

2 months ago

August, blame, diet, fitness, holiday, humor, overweight, self-reflection
As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

0

2 months ago

August, birthday, born, humor, i, leotard, offensive, someone, word
Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

0

4 months ago

August, door, farewell, goodbye, hit, humor, let, month, sarcasm
August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

0

4 months ago

almost, August, Christmas, Christmas shopping, costume, Halloween, Halloween costume, happy, holiday, holiday planning, humor, management, new, new year, next, over, pick, planning, seasonal, seasonal humor, September, shopping, start, time, time management, week, year
There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

0

4 months ago

August, emotion, explain, feeling, grief, i, kind, late, late August, nostalgia, sadness, seasonal, seasonal feeling, weird
Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

0

4 months ago

August, Congress, enjoying, everyone, forgot, full, humor, i, month, oh, only, pay, politics, sarcasm, vacation, work
August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

0

5 months ago

August, fall, humor, season, spirit, summer, transition, weather
Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

0

5 months ago

always, August, beginning, Halloween, holiday, peak, season, spooky, summer, summertime, thin, veil, wild

All funny August quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

46 shares on Threads this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Trending via X:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Just shared via Discord:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Trending via Twitch:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴