Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

16 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Breaking via TikTok:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Making waves on Messenger:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Trending via Slack:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Making waves on Slack:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Spotted on Reddit:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Home » Funny August Quotes

Funny August quotes

New funny August quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Commentary:
"Sounds like a roadmap to romance… with a few potholes! 🚗❤️🗺️ #LoveIsAJourney"
4 months ago
Share →: Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Commentary:
🎄🍔🍟 "Don't blame the holidays for that extra serving of pie – you were already rocking that 'summer bod' in August! Maybe your beach towel needed a little more loving than your salad bowl 🤷‍♂️🤣 #HolidayFeastFail"
6 months ago
Share →: As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Commentary:
"August babies unite! 🎉 Leotard, the audacity! How dare they try to confine our free-spirited August energy with such a word 😂🦁 #AugustPride"

For even more funny August quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny August quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

16 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Making waves on YouTube:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Freshly posted on X:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Going viral on Messenger:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Spotted on WeChat:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Live now on Instagram:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Live now on Instagram:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

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