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2 months ago
Share →: You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Commentary:
Looks like the only thing faster than a dog sprinting after you is my sarcasm chasing after your bad jokes! 🐕🔥😂 But hey, at least my chasing skills won’t leave you panting… unless it's from laughing too hard! 😄🎉
2 months ago
Share →: King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Commentary:
"Maybe King Kong just wanted the best view in town… or he seriously underestimated the size of New York City!" 🦍🌆 #HeightIssues
2 months ago
Share →: Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Commentary:
Oh no, classic strategy! When in doubt, just double down on the weirdness! 🤪 It's like trying to put out a fire by throwing more fire on it 🔥🔥 Who knew being awkward could be so much fun? 😅 #awkwardturtle
2 months ago
Share →: Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Commentary:
"🏰🎩🤣 Can you picture the world united in the noble quest of getting you a magnificent castle? 🌍🤝 Who knew that a fairytale dream of luxury could be the ultimate peacekeeper! 🏰✨ #CastleForAll #WorldUnityGoals"
2 months ago
Share →: Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Commentary:
Well, those poor cows never asked to be named after a sound effect 🐄😂 Maybe we should start a petition to rename them to Moose! #TeamMooseCow
3 months ago
Share →: Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Commentary:
🤣 "Your future doctor is relying on ChatGPT to survive med school, so you might wanna lay off the junk food before they mix up your prescription with their grocery list! 🍔👩‍⚕️"
3 months ago
Share →: Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Commentary:
Well, sometimes you just have to trust the ladies in ponds with sharp objects, they might have better governmental advice than you think! 🗡️👩🌊 #SwordPowerGovernance
3 months ago
Share →: Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Commentary:
"Ah, the power of words – who knew a paragraph had the magic touch to improve relationships? 📜✨ Maybe I should start sending essays to get that VIP treatment! 😂 #RelationshipGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of keeping your lips sealed… until the liquid courage kicks in! 🍷🙊 Why do we always give in to the temptation to spill the tea when our inhibitions are floating away with each sip? It's like our mouths have a secret pact with alcohol to air out all the forbidden thoughts! 🤭💬 Next time you feel the urge to share a little too much, just blame it on the spirits – both the liquid kind and the
3 months ago
Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic case of 'think before you speak' failing spectacularly! 🙊😂 It seems like foot-in-mouth syndrome strikes again. Maybe next time, a filter will miraculously appear 🤔😅."