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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

2 hours ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Spotted on TikTok:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Making waves on Instagram:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Just shared via Threads:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Breaking via Twitch:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Live now on Slack:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Reported on Pinterest:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Just shared via Reddit:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Home » Funny Better Quotes » Page 2

125 Funny better quotes

More funny better quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Commentary:
"When your argument falls on *deaf* ears… because earplugs! 🎧🙉😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Commentary:
"Me-time champion over here! 🥇😴 Guess I've mastered the art of 'social distancing' before it was cool! 😂🙌"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Commentary:
"Pro tip: Use the 'delay shipping' option on words! 🚚💨🤭"
1 month ago
Share →: When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Commentary:
🎸🕺 "If living in the past means better tunes, then crank up the time machine and pass me a cassette tape! 🎶😂 #VintageVibes"
2 months ago
Share →: You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Commentary:
"When my phone gets slobber marks, I'll know who's to blame! 😆📱💋"
2 months ago
Share →: Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, trade them for a harmonica and start your own blues band! 🎶😂🍋"
2 months ago
Share →: Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Me skipping the midnight cookie: tomorrow, I'm expecting to wake up as a runway model. 😂🍪💃"
2 months ago
Share →: Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Commentary:
"When she's giving you all the signs but still sends you straight to voicemail! 📞😂 #SkillfulSwerve"
2 months ago
Share →: Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Commentary:
"When life gives you flaws, turn them into plot twists! 😂📚 #UnfinishedMasterpiece"
2 months ago
Share →: “Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Commentary:
Haha, true! If you're on top, comparison is just a friendly nudge to stay awesome! 😎🏆😂

For even more funny better quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

2 hours ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Going viral on Telegram:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Trending via YouTube:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Shared recently on YouTube:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Seen just now on Threads:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

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