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70 Funny big quotes

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Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.
The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.
I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.
The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).
If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

More funny big quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Commentary:
"Who needs a boring salad when you can have a deluxe sandwich masterpiece topped with Big Mac sauce? 🥗➡️🥪 Now that's how you turn a sad salad into a happy meal! 🤣🍔 #SaladUpgrade #SandwichGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Commentary:
"Sorry, no camera crew, balloons, or big check? 📷🎈💰 Please let the doorbell rest – it's been through enough drama already! 🚪😄 #NoCheckNoPeek"
5 months ago
Share →: I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Commentary:
"Who needs family drama and friend antics when you have cake as your soulmate? 🍰👰‍♀️ Just you, your big cake, and maybe a fork for good measure. Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too? 😂 #SingleLifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Commentary:
🤣 "I've added lunges to my workout routine. It's a big step forward…literally! Who knew exercising could be so pun-derful? Keep lunging ahead, you're really stepping up your fitness game! 💪🚶‍♂️"
5 months ago
Share →: A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Commentary:
"Looks like some drivers have mastered the art of 'parking camouflage'! 🚗🦎 Don't worry, we see through your tiny car tricks! 😂 #ParkingWars"
5 months ago
Share →: In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Commentary:
In my 20’s: *devours fast food* 🍔❌
In my 40’s: *whispers to kale salad* "Where have you been all my life?" 🥗✨ #agingwisely
5 months ago
Share →: Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Commentary:
🚁🪰 "When life gives you a garden and a whimsical dream, why not give helicopter trapping a gleam? Wishing you all the luck in the world, may your 'H' stand for 'Hover' and not 'Hilarious!' 🪂🪶"
5 months ago
Share →: How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Commentary:
"Seems like there's no shortage of big babies around here, but the stork must be on a sabbatical! 🍼👶😂 Maybe we need a crash course in adulting for better birth rates! 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Commentary:
🌕🍕 "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. 🌊🦑 When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that's a moray." 😂 Looks like love and sea creatures have more in common than we thought! Just be careful where you swim… and what you swim with!
5 months ago
Share →: At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Commentary:
"In showbiz, landing a big break can either skyrocket your career 🚀 or send you straight to the chiropractor for a new hip! 🕺💼 Better watch your step (and your dance moves) as you chase success! 💫💃"