24 Funny candy quotes

• I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

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  3 weeks ago

  candy, dark, dark room, eating, humor, i, illegal, irony, liked, me, movie, movie theater, room, seeing, silence, snack, talk, theater, thought, where

• I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

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  2 months ago

  adult, candy, dinner, humor, i, indulgence, Skittles, why

• Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

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  2 months ago

  almost, bear, bears, candy, common, comparison, funny observation, gummy, gummy bear, gummy worm, humor, nothing, observation, worm

• The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

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  2 months ago

  baby, candy, childhood, everyday, everyday humor, humor, irony, opposite, parenting, playful, putting, safety, sunscreen, taking, toddler

• I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

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  2 months ago

  award, candy, comedy, confession, dentist, deserve, eat, honesty, humor, i, lie, Oscar, telling

• Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

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  2 months ago

  candy, candy cane, cane, humor, me, self-deprecation, sweet, twisted

• Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

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  2 months ago

  bad, bowl, candy, diet, Halloween, health, humor, salad, sweet, treat, trick, trick or treat

• I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

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  2 months ago

  bar, candy, candy bar, diet, energy, energy bar, humor, i, irony, just, notice, pretend, snack

• Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

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  2 months ago

  activity, baby, being, candy, Candy Crush, childhood, crush, excitement, exciting, fun, fun activity, gaming, going, imagine, iPad, months, playing, technology, womb

• I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

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  2 months ago

  candy, family, fight, floor, front, humor, husband, i, just, kids, parenting, pay, piece, throw, UFC, understand

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