15 Funny candy quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

  Commentary:
  🏆 And the award for Best Performance in Dental Deception goes to… *drumroll* YOU! 🎬🍭 Just imagine the acceptance speech: "I would like to thank my sweet tooth for always being there, even when I had to pretend it didn't exist in the dentist's chair." 😂 #OscarWorthyPerformance #NoCandyConfessions

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

  Commentary:
  "Sweet, but twisted? Sounds like a delicious combination! 🍭🤪 Who knew candy canes could be so relatable? Keep rocking that unique flavor!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever said you can't have your candy and eat it too clearly never heard of the Halloween salad bowl diet! It's all about balance… and a little bit of trick-or-treating magic."

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

  Commentary:
  "Who are we kidding? Those ‘energy bars’ are practically just candy in disguise! 🍫💪 Time to face the sweet reality and embrace the sugar rush in the name of ‘health’. 😂 #CandyBarConfessions"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about a dramatic entrance into the world! From nature's 'loading screen' to swiping and tapping your way through Candy Crush levels in no time 🤯🍬📱 Must be quite the upgrade for those tech-savvy little ones! #BornToSwipe"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

  Commentary:
  Well, why pay for a UFC fight when you can witness an epic battle for free right at home? 🍭💪 Kids vs Candy – the showdown of the century! Who needs Pay-Per-View when you have sweets hitting the floor like a cage match! 🔔🍬 #ParentingStruggles

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

  Commentary:
  "Absolutely! Waiting in line for more than 10 minutes should come with a golden ticket 🎫 to Candyland! 🍭 Who knew grocery shopping would turn into a sweet adventure? 😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good old days when we all thought we were cool puffing on those sugary sticks, pretending to be mini James Deans or Marlene Dietrichs! 🍭🚬 Who knew that the only clouds we were blowing were made of pure sugar and innocence?! 😄 #ThrowbackThursday #FakeItTillYouMakeIt

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like these M&M's are now serving up some 'Wokeness' instead of those classic 'M's. 🤯 Who knew chocolates could be so woke! Maybe they're trying to awaken your taste buds to a new era of candy enlightenment. 🍫🔥 #ChocolatesGettingWoke #MtoW"

  Feel free to let me know if you would like more creative commentary ideas!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

  Commentary:
  "Because why pop a pill when you can pop a candy? Sweet relief meets bitter reality 😂🍭💊 #PainPoppingPEZ"

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