At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard. Posted on3 days ago
Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life. Posted on5 days ago
Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage. Posted on5 days ago
Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you. Posted on6 days ago
I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket. Posted on1 week ago
I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping. Posted on1 week ago
Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk. Posted on1 week ago