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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Spotted on Twitch:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Spotted on Reddit:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Just landed via X:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Going viral on Threads:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Trending via Snapchat:

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

60 Funny chaos quotes

Funny chaos quotes are your ultimate humor fix when life spirals into delightful disarray 😂. Embrace the pandemonium with a chuckle as these witty gems remind you to find laughter amid the madness 🤪. Whether you’re juggling life’s curveballs or simply enjoying the unpredictable ride 🎢, these quotes offer a lighthearted perspective, proving that chaos can be both chaotic and comical 🌪️. Dive into the whirlwind and let the giggles begin!

New funny chaos quotes 👇

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All funny chaos quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Muting morons is good for your health.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Shared recently on Instagram:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Just shared via Instagram:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Live now on Pinterest:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

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