15 Funny charge quotes

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Funny Quotes Feb 12, 2025

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

God: "Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it."

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

At 30+, I'm like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I'm at 60%.

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025