17 Funny charge quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

  Commentary:
  Why stop at shoes, cookies, and toys? Let's put them in charge of everything—maybe we'll finally get free cookies with every shoe purchase and toys that assemble themselves! 🍪👠🎁

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs drama-filled relationship status updates when you've got John and his sneaky martini transactions on Venmo? 🍸💰😂 #JustVenmoThings"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's got a sharp eye for business! 👀💼 Better watch out, their stare might just cost you more than you bargained for! 🤑 #TariffOnToughStares

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

  Commentary:
  👯‍♂️ "When you run into twins, make sure to address the CEO of the duo! 🤣 Who knows, the one in charge might have all the twin-spired wisdom and authority! Double the trouble, double the fun, double the bossiness?"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

  Commentary:
  "Here's to coffee: Saving lives and preventing crimes since forever! ☕️🚓 Who knew a cup of joe could be the ultimate savior of our sanity and legal record? 😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

  Commentary:
  "Well, hindsight is 20/20, even for the Almighty! 💸 Maybe next time, God will offer a 'Free Will Premium Package' with extra perks and maybe a discount code for good deeds. 😂 #DivinePricingStrategy"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

  Commentary:
  🤣🏙️ "In a world where chaos reigns and logic takes a backseat, welcome to 'The Dewey Decimated Decimal System'! Who needs mayors and governors when you have a librarian armed with overdue fines and shushing powers ready to bring order to the city? Tune in as our unlikely hero battles late fees and unruly citizens in this unforgettable sitcom where the only crime is not returning your books on time!" 📚🕶️

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

  Commentary:
  🤣 How convenient would that be, right? Just imagine rolling around in the dryer for a few minutes, enjoying the free tumble cycle like a cozy little clothes burrito! 🌀 Who knew adulting could involve such exciting possibilities? #DryerDelights #LaundryDayGoals 🧺

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like Yoda knew the best order for the Star Wars movies! Maybe he had a sneak peek into the future with the Force. 🌌🎬 May the release date be with you, always!

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like it's not just the Wi-Fi that's getting disconnected, but grandma too! 📱💀 #FamilyPriorities"

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