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16 Funny charge quotes

Trending Funny Charge Quotes 🔥

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”
I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.
When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.
Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.
At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

New funny charge quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Commentary:
"Who needs drama-filled relationship status updates when you've got John and his sneaky martini transactions on Venmo? 🍸💰😂 #JustVenmoThings"
3 months ago
Share →: I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's got a sharp eye for business! 👀💼 Better watch out, their stare might just cost you more than you bargained for! 🤑 #TariffOnToughStares
4 months ago
Share →: When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Commentary:
👯‍♂️ "When you run into twins, make sure to address the CEO of the duo! 🤣 Who knows, the one in charge might have all the twin-spired wisdom and authority! Double the trouble, double the fun, double the bossiness?"
5 months ago
Share →: Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Commentary:
"Here's to coffee: Saving lives and preventing crimes since forever! ☕️🚓 Who knew a cup of joe could be the ultimate savior of our sanity and legal record? 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Commentary:
"Well, hindsight is 20/20, even for the Almighty! 💸 Maybe next time, God will offer a 'Free Will Premium Package' with extra perks and maybe a discount code for good deeds. 😂 #DivinePricingStrategy"
5 months ago
Share →: Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Commentary:
🤣🏙️ "In a world where chaos reigns and logic takes a backseat, welcome to 'The Dewey Decimated Decimal System'! Who needs mayors and governors when you have a librarian armed with overdue fines and shushing powers ready to bring order to the city? Tune in as our unlikely hero battles late fees and unruly citizens in this unforgettable sitcom where the only crime is not returning your books on time!" 📚🕶️
5 months ago
Share →: After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Commentary:
🤣 How convenient would that be, right? Just imagine rolling around in the dryer for a few minutes, enjoying the free tumble cycle like a cozy little clothes burrito! 🌀 Who knew adulting could involve such exciting possibilities? #DryerDelights #LaundryDayGoals 🧺
5 months ago
Share →: Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like Yoda knew the best order for the Star Wars movies! Maybe he had a sneak peek into the future with the Force. 🌌🎬 May the release date be with you, always!
5 months ago
Share →: I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Commentary:
"Looks like it's not just the Wi-Fi that's getting disconnected, but grandma too! 📱💀 #FamilyPriorities"
5 months ago
Share →: They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic grocery store potty tax scheme! It's like a sneak attack on your wallet from the humble loaf of bread to the royal throne. 🍞💸💩 Keep those eyes peeled for the real MVPs of the grocery game – toilet paper and bank accounts!"