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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Spotted on Twitch:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Trending via Twitch:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Just landed via X:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Making waves on Instagram:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Breaking via Messenger:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Making waves on Threads:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Making waves on Reddit:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Going viral on Twitch:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

15 Funny chasing quotes

Funny chasing quotes bring a burst of laughter to the thrill of the chase 🏃‍♂️💨 Whether you’re chasing dreams, goals, or that last slice of pizza 🍕, these witty sayings add a playful twist to the pursuit. Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you dive into the lighter side of chasing life’s little adventures 😂✨. Let the fun begin!

New funny chasing quotes 👇

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

1 week ago

chase, chasing, fear, healing, humor, joke, knife, me, pain, time, wound, wounds, wrong
4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

1 week ago

4, chasing, clout, exaggeration, humor, joke, media, row, sneeze, social, social media, wrap
Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

1 week ago

after, ball, chasing, dehumanizing, humor, ping, ping pong, playful, pong, satire, sports
Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

1 week ago

activity, around, butterfly, butterfly net, chase, chasing, fun, fun activity, got, hr, humor, me, net, work, workplace, workplace humor, zoomy
When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

1 week ago

amusing, animal, animal comparison, chasing, comparison, dance, dance move, dog, humor, i, move, people, quirky, say, self-deprecating, tail, wild, wild dog
I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

1 week ago

carrot, cart, chase, chasing, determination, direction, effort, humor, humor in effort, i, lighthearted, mind, motivation, playful, pursuit, same
If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

1 week ago

activity, chase, chasing, definitely, exercise, humor, joke, laughter, me, playful, run, running, should, something, too
No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

2 weeks ago

chasing, confidence, dream, dreams, humor, i, know, lazy, longer, me, nap, relaxation, self-care, want, where
My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

2 weeks ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, chasing, humor, own, playfulness, self-awareness, spirit, spirit animal, tail
My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

2 weeks ago

change, chasing, humor, lake, lakes, music, music reference, new, new year, reference, resolution, river, stick, stick to, stop, used, used to, waterfall, year

For even more funny chasing quotes, hit next 👇

All funny chasing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Facebook this month:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

80 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Freshly posted on Discord:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Trending via Twitch:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Making waves on Slack:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Just landed via Threads:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

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