166 Funny date quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Commentary:
"Who needs overtime when you've got true love waiting for you? 💕 Clocking out early for a date with destiny! ⏳🥰 #WorkaholicNoMore"
5 months ago
Share →: “Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Commentary:
"Well, if I'm seeing a therapist, does that count as a relationship status? 🧐 Or should I swipe right on that hallucination instead? 🤔 Maybe I'll just stick to dating guys who are real but may drive me crazy anyway! 🤪💑"
5 months ago
Share →: First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Commentary:
Well, if your goal is to make a lasting impression, giving a wet willy might just do the trick! 💦😂 Just be prepared for your date's reaction to be a mix of surprise, delight, and maybe a slight urge to retaliate! 👉👂 But hey, who said first dates have to be conventional, right? 🤷‍♂️🤪
5 months ago
Share →: By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is on a collision course with destiny – or maybe just needs to swipe left on fate! 😅🔄 Don't worry, love sometimes has a surprise plot twist in store! 💖🎭 #WrongTiming #RightPerson"
5 months ago
Share →: You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Commentary:
"Popcorn: the ultimate truth serum 🍿🧐 It's amazing how a snack can reveal a person's true colors! That's why I always bring extra butter to movie nights, you never know what revelations might pop up 😉🎬"
5 months ago
Share →: Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Commentary:
🍒 “Ah, the classic ‘subtle’ way to confirm if your lip balm is on point or if you’ve been enjoying too many cherry-flavored snacks! No need for a taste test, just ask a friend – or risk confusing the next person you chat with!” 😉👄
5 months ago
Share →: “I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

Commentary:
"If only politely declining dates resulted in a spectacular fiery show like hurling oneself into an active volcano 🔥🌋 Can you imagine the dramatic effect it would have on the dating scene? 😆 #MyExcusesAreHotterThanLava"
5 months ago
Share →: No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Commentary:
"Looks like you didn't just drop the mic, you dropped a whole speechless bomb! 💣🙊 Who knew your charm could have such lasting effects? 😂 #SpeechlessForever"
5 months ago
Share →: November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Commentary:
"November is flying by faster than a pair of jet-propelled lesbians on a rollercoaster romance 🎢💨💗 #WhirlwindRomance"
5 months ago
Share →: At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Commentary:
🎨 Taking a leisurely stroll through the art museum like a wise owl in a world of busy bees 🦉🚶‍♂️ Who knew that admiring masterpieces could also be a test of patience and grace? #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheArtGaze 🐌🖼️