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Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I have a yearning disability.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,071

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Making waves on Messenger:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Trending via WeChat:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Going viral on Discord:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Just landed via Slack:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Freshly posted on X:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Home » Funny Dating Quotes » Page 32

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

0

2 months ago

advice, date, dating, dating advice, honesty, humor, idiot, know, let, love, new, new love, relationship, should, soon
Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, combo, contact, dating, deadly, deadly combo, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, social, social interaction
Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

0

2 months ago

appearance, dating, funny observation, humor, just, marriage, need, observation, people, relationship, self-similarity, stop, wig
I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

0

2 months ago

advice, attract, crush, dating, ever, humor, i, me, psychopath, relationship, self-awareness, therapist
I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

0

2 months ago

3, anyone, boyfriend, breakup, dating, day, feel, humor, i, joke, life, love, love life, next, relationship, sarcasm, single, sorry, through
The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

0

2 months ago

Bachelor, Brooklyn, dating, humor, Madison, meet, reality, reality show, relationships, Savannah, show
Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

0

2 months ago

always, dating, expectations, humor, intelligent, intelligent man, irony, know, love, man, marry, men, relationship, want, women
The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

0

2 months ago

area, dating, hot, hot single, humor, irony, joke, money, single, singles, wallet
Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

approach, boyfriend, chance, dating, finding, girl, gorgeous, humor, ID, love, never, nothing, rejection, relationship, seeing, stand, worse
Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, dating, first move, humor, move, relationship, visit, want, women

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🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

49 shares on X this month:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

70 shares on Threads this month:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

21 shares on Telegram this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

59 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

72 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Trending via Snapchat:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Just shared via Twitch:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Shared recently on X:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Spotted on YouTube:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Breaking via Twitch:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Spotted on YouTube:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Going bananas on X:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Spotted on X:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Activity Log ✨

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨