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Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,617

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Spotted on Instagram:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Trending via Snapchat:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Live now on YouTube:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Home » Funny Dating Quotes » Page 9

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

0

1 month ago

attitude, boundary, clearance, confidence, dating, humor, independence, less, much, personality, relationship, running, sale, self-worth, too
Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

0

1 month ago

attraction, beard, beards, charm, dating, grey, grey beard, guy, guys, humor, relationship, thing
I think my type is a nice person.

0

1 month ago

dating, humor, i, nice, nice person, person, personality, think, type
I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

0

1 month ago

butterfly, butterfly feeling, dating, emotions, feeling, feelings, give, having, humor, i, me, miss, people, point, relationships, roach, roach vibe, vibe, vibes
Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

0

1 month ago

amount, before, breakup, dating, evil, evil ex, ex, experience, humor, love, meet, need, normal, normal ex, offer, relationship, right, serious, situationship, spouse, three, truly
You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

0

1 month ago

comment, communication, dating, etiquette, free, humor, joke, just, legal, media, nice, people, photo, relationship, social, social media, three
People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

0

1 month ago

always, commitment, commitment issue, dating, distant, emotionally, emotionally distant, eye, fish, got, humor, issue, issues, people, relationship, salmon, say, sea, specific
If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

0

1 month ago

allegation, allegations, best, best friend, bestfriending, dating, enough, friend, friendship, hard, humor, relationship
I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

0

1 month ago

annoyance, annoyed, compatibility, cringe, dating, humor, humorous, i, interest, just, relationship, same, shared, shared interest, someone, things, want
If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

0

1 month ago

Alpha, alpha female, bedtime, dating, dragon, else, female, humor, know, need, night, personality, relationship, turn

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

76 shares on Threads this month:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

44 shares on Twitch this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

83 shares on Slack this month:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Spotted on X:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Just shared via Telegram:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Trending via Pinterest:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Seen just now on Messenger:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Just landed via YouTube:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Activity Log ✨

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨