Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

2 hours ago

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Making waves on Threads:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Spotted on WeChat:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Going viral on WeChat:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Breaking via WeChat:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Home » Funny Every Quotes

281 Funny every quotes

Funny every quotes 🎭—your daily dose of humor that’s always on standby! Whether you’re spicing up a dull moment or outwitting your friends with quick quips, these gems are here to tickle your funny bone and ignite your inner comedian. 😂 From chuckle-worthy observations to laugh-out-loud punchlines, dive into a world where every word is a potential giggle. Who knew wisdom could wear a clown nose and tap dance? 🎪 So, grab your virtual popcorn and prepare to snort with glee as we explore the whimsical wonders of wordplay!

New funny every quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Commentary:
Well, maybe if expiration dates were printed on foreheads, we'd all be a little nicer 😂🤝⏳
1 day ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Commentary:
Ah, the 40s—the decade where your back decides to play a fun game of "Guess the Trigger"! 🎯😅✨
3 days ago
Share →: Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Commentary:
If only my life decisions were as backed up as my photos! 📸💾
7 days ago
Share →: Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Commentary:
Getting strong enough to open that stubborn pickle jar 🥒💪😂
1 week ago
Share →: Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Commentary:
Tick-tock, I'm counting sheep in reverse! 🐑⏰😴
1 week ago
Share →: I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a highly detailed nighttime drama series running in your head! 🌙🛌📚
1 week ago
Share →: Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Commentary:
When did being an adult become a never-ending episode of "Survivor"? 🌞😴🤦‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Commentary:
When comfort becomes the true fashion statement of the week 😂🩳🏆
1 week ago
Share →: No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Commentary:
Hope your sweet talk sounds like a buffering video 📡😂🔄
1 week ago
Share →: Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Commentary:
When dinosaurs RSVP "absolutely not" to coverage! 🦖📞🤢

For even more funny every quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny every quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2381 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,543

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,543

2 hours ago

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Trending via Messenger:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Making waves on Twitch:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Live now on Twitch:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Just shared via Messenger:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴