198 Funny every quotes

• 

  15 hours ago

  Share →: This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

  Commentary:
  "Temple maintenance plan: Controlled demolition daily! 🙃💣 #LivingOnTheEdge"

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like my morning routine agrees: rise and shine… eventually! ⏰☕😴"

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like their job is just opening packages! 📦😂 #ProfessionalUnwrapper"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

  Commentary:
  "When 'Who's your daddy?' takes a plot twist! 😅🍼 #UnexpectedPositivity"

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

  Commentary:
  "Forget Prince Charming, I'll take a donut any day! 🍩❤️🤣"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

  Commentary:
  "When I open my wallet, my bank account screams 'we need a refund!' 😂💸 #ReimburseTheSpender"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

  Commentary:
  "I miss the days when TV seasons were longer than my to-do list! 📺😅 #BingeWorthy #WhereDidItAllGo"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the original 'Skip Intro' that no one dared to fast-forward 😂🔍🎥 #VHSNostalgia"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Me: A walking dictionary, but with Wi-Fi! 😂📚🔍 #WordNinja"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

  Commentary:
  "Five-year plan? I'm more of a 'five-minute snack break' kind of planner! 📝😂🍕"

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